Hamilton College Admission Journals: Thomas Coppola

So Long Suckers

Sun, 24 May 2009 21:15:57 GMT

Just got finished with graduation, not mine, 2009’s. It’s very surreal. It’s been a surreal week in general. I finished finals in the usual crash landing style, but I didn’t leave campus cause I’ll be staying here this summer. So I’ve watched 2009 gyrate through their emotional last week at Hamilton College. I kind of wanted to join in, but I’ve been busy working on grants and generally getting my life in order that I never really dived into Senior Week. So I’ve just watched them slowly flow around and away from me down the hill into the real world. Goodbye.

Not sure what else to say. It’s been a good year. I went to NYC! Remember Union Square? I want to go back to Union Square. Don’t go seniors! : C

It’s kind of hard to write a coherent conclusion about the end of the 2008-2009 year when it’s already unraveled itself. All the people who made the stories meaningful have packed up and left. That’s the problem with college, it’s transient. You’re a freshman looking around and then you blink and you’re a senior with a gown, degree and old memories you’re not sure what to do with.

Look at those seniors go. They’re heading out. I guess I’ll go too. See you.

Today’s Shout-Out! goes to Val McGowan (2010). We all know you own a dartboard Val, so stop acting like you keep making bulleyes at random. Butthead.

TODAY'S SHOUT-OUT GOES TO MIKE KRANZ 2010

Wed, 13 May 2009 00:22:47 GMT

NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MIKE LEAVE ME ALONE I'M TRYING TO STUDY VERT PHYS

GO AWAY

Mon, 04 May 2009 18:19:30 GMT

Today's Shout-Out! goes to

OH SWEET JESUS I HAVE SO MUCH WORK

You Know How You Sometimes Say, "Please God Cancel This Paper?"

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:27:14 GMT

In Vertebrate Physiology we have these lab reports. They are academic iron maidens. There is nothing, literally nothing about them that is easy. They are 7-10 pages long. They require statistical analysis and graph construction. They are so research intensive that it takes me two hours just to make the bibliography. And worst of all, for ADHD me, their formats are nauseatingly punctilious. If you deviate from them by even a single atom, God save you, “you forgot to put the period after the al of et al. – F”

On Tuesday, I sat down in the library to start the anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) lab, where we write about the results of watching rats pee (or fail to pee). It was going be a twenty-four hour ordeal. As I was getting ready to strangle my soul to increase productivity, an email came from Professor Gapp, the teacher / Inquisitor of the class:

“Given the very sucky nature of the ADH lab data (no fault of your own), I've decided out of the goodness of my heart and grading fatigue to forgo having you submit a lab report on the ADH data.”

What? For some reason I can’t process that. Let’s rearrange it for clarity:

“I’ve decided…to forgo having you submit…the…sucky…ADH lab.”

I’m sorry...I still don’t understand…my nose is bleeding…

“Come home Thomas, come home my child”

AND SO IT WAS THE TWENTY-EIGHTH DAY OF THE FOURTH MONTH OF THE TWO THOUSAND AND NINTH YEAR OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, TOM COPPOLA’S LAB REPORT WAS CANCELLED THE MOMENT HE STARTED WORKING ON IT, RAPTURING HIM INTO HEAVEN AND BEATIFYING HIM AS THE PATRON SAINT OF SLACKERS

Today’s Shout-Out! goes to Sash Amarasuriya (2011) because I owe her a Shout-Out! Hi Sash

We Are Team Howler Monkeys

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:59:48 GMT

HamTrek is coming up. It’s an annual triathlon that Hamilton College hosts to try to reduce dorm overcrowding by putting its students into cardiac arrest. The triathlon features a drowning section (525m swimming), a heart attack section (9 mile biking) and a Charlie horse section (3.1 mile run).

I did the biking section my freshman year, without training, with a mountain bike one of my friends described as “a tank.” The outcome was not good: my 250 pound biology teacher, Professor Lehman, lapped me. Twice. In short shorts.

But this year will be different. I switched to the running section, which I’m pretty good at, and am actually training (it helps!). But even if it’s an unmitigated disaster, we had a pretty sick time choosing our team name. My ideas were: Epic Fail, Pre-Med Bipeds, Tom Coppola + chicks, Booty Sweat, Rock Hard Butts, and Gonna Blow Chunks. Julianne ultimately thought of our name, but I kind of liked Fallon’s Zimbabwe Resistance Front as well.

Today’s Shout-Out! goes to Fallon Chipidza (2010) and Julianne Tylko (2010). We’re gonna win! (slowest team award)