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When I was a teen-age boy, flirting with puberty more than girls, Grandma always told me that all I had to do to find a girlfriend was just be myself, and consider the possibility of bathing on a more-regular basis... But that doesn't work in the world of personal ads... As proof, I give you Douglas Raybeck, a real live anthro-polo-gist at Hamilton College in Clinton, N.Y... The professor conducted a study of 462 personal ads that appeared in a newspaper in Utica, N.Y. His major conclusion is that people routinely portray themselves in ways that are not quite themselves but are sort of in the ballpark--a very large ballpark.

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