5 Tips for Ditching Social Awkwardness
With the holiday season upon us, awkward moments are bound to happen. Philosophy professor Alexandra Plakias ’02, author of Awkwardness: A Theory, shares tips for how to handle these potentially uncomfortable situations.
“Awkwardness is what happens in social interactions when you suddenly find yourself without a script to guide you through.”
1. Know Your Goals, Know Your Rules
Uncertainty is the oxygen of awkwardness. Before tricky situations, ask yourself: What do I want to achieve? Clear goals help you navigate the interaction confidently.
Example: If a relative brings up politics, focus on keeping the peace or calmly sharing your perspective instead of “winning” the debate.
2. There’s No ‘I’ in Awkward
Plakias says, “By focusing on yourself, you’re not attuned to the people around you or the signals they’re sending — signals that could offer you a pathway out of the awkward situation.”
Example: Notice their cues — body language, tone, or expressions — to help you figure out how to ease the tension.
3. Plan, Coordinate, and Be Explicit
Preparation can make all the difference. Team up with someone you trust or plan activities to keep things flowing.
Example: Prep conversation topics, suggest a game, or assign a simple task like setting the table to keep everyone engaged.
For tougher relationships, prep in advance. An email or quick chat beforehand can help resolve tension before meeting face-to-face.
4. Laugh It Off
“When awkwardness strikes, offer people a way out — they’ll probaby grab it. A joke, small talk, or even knocking over a spoon can break the silence."
— Alexandra Plakias ’02
5. Consider the Alternatives
Awkwardness slows things down, but that’s not always bad. Without it, deeper emotions like anger or sadness might take over.
Awkwardness Isn’t the End
The next time things feel awkward, remember: It’s normal, it’s temporary, and with a little practice, you can make it manageable.
This content is adapted from Plakias’ article, “Awkwardness can hit in any social situation—here are a philosopher’s five strategies to navigate it with grace,” first published by The Conversation and later featured by major national and international media outlets.
