Advent 21

Saturday, Third Week of Advent
17 December 2022

Sonder of the Season

sonder (n.) The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s personal lack of awareness of it.
 
It seems that with each holiday season, I feel busier and busier. It’s not that I necessarily have more plans, but there always seems to be more to tend to: deadlines, appointments, final exams (either taking them or grading them), gifts to buy, family or friends to coordinate with, budgets to balance, traditions to uphold. I also find that each year brings new experiences– traumas and celebrations — that demand space to process. My to-do lists grow so long that it’s hard to look outside of myself, to set aside the anxiety of resolving everything on my plate. 
 
I was shaken from some of my overwhelm when I ran into an old Hamilton classmate the other day. I felt like there was something so incredible about the encounter– not only to be recognized in a crowded bookstore, but that we slowed down for a moment, and said hello. Since Boston is a hub for Hamilton alumni, it shouldn’t have been surprising to learn that they’ve been living nearby for years. I was nevertheless amazed to find how close we’d been without crossing paths until now. How wonderful it was that, amidst the noise of my everyday life, someone stopped me in real time and reminded me that we all live lives circling around each other.
 
Still struck by this as I made my way home, I found myself noticing every glimpse of a lit-up Christmas tree through the windows of apartment buildings high above the chaotic streets. I was drawn to these small, half-visible displays of holiday cheer far more than the grandiose lights in Boston Common or sprawling displays in Chestnut Hill. They reminded me of the lives being lived all around me, the glorious impossibility of all of us living together, the vast multitude of experiences unfolding simultaneously. This is the same feeling I find each day another Advent reflection lands in my inbox. There is something so divine about this community, stretching across time and space to find connection. Our experiences this season circle, mirror, meet, and collide so beautifully. I am immensely grateful for our practice of sonder in this and every Advent season.
 
Bridget Lewis ’16