Advent 8

Sunday, Second Week of Advent
4 December 2022

There is no one way to live, love, raise children, arrange a family, run a school, a community, a nation. The norms were created by somebody, and each of us is somebody. We can make our own normal. –  Glennon Doyle, author 

The challenge these days, is to be somewhere, to belong to some particular place, invest oneself in it, draw strength and courage from it, to dwell in a community. – bell hooks, author and activist

Honoring Our Chosen Traditions

I love the Christmas season. For me, it has such a magical quality about it. Everything sparkles and shines just a little bit more. When the temperature drops, the days end earlier, and snow flurries dance through the streets – those have been the telltale signs that Christmas season was here. The pandemic certainly changed or interrupted some family traditions, but the vast majority of them have remained the same my entire life. 
 
Like for many, our family traditions could be complicated. Were ours always good, positive, or healthy? Perhaps not. This season often brought strained times with extended family members. When we’d host our annual party, we’d end the night and think, “Was that even nice?” Or, “Does X care about and really love us?” 
 
Sometimes we have moments where we reevaluate our traditions and what this holiday time means to us. Like Glennon Doyle has said, we sometimes find our own path and make our own normal. 
 
For me, it took moving across the world. I’m currently living in South Africa and it’s my first time away from my family this Christmas. The northeast’s snow has been replaced by sunny weather with temperatures in the eighties. My normal telltale signs of Christmas aren’t here, and it’s certainly bittersweet. 
 
That Christmas party tradition has organically concluded with my departure. We decided that this tradition didn’t serve our family anymore. We recognized how boundaries and love for family members are not mutually exclusive. 
 
I’m creating new traditions with my partner’s family here (as well as trying to embrace the country’s tradition of Christmas pool parties and braais [barbecues].) I'm also adapting some, including Skyping my parents on Christmas morning. Living here, it’s also made me take a closer look at the holiday consumerism that was the air I breathed in the U.S. This year, I’m trying to give more by buying less. 
 
Sometimes it takes a moment of reflection, or by shaking up routine, to look at our holiday traditions and see what does and doesn’t serve us. You might be trying to embed yourself in a new, or old, community like bell hooks spoke about. I’m not saying there isn’t grief or loss with this kind of change – I’m certainly feeling it! But like bell hooks writes, dwelling in and with your community can be a beautiful thing.  
 
This holiday season, just know that you’re not alone in reevaluating or reconfiguring your traditions. Advent is about joy and excitedness for the coming of Jesus. Looking for traditions that bring us joy, light, and love might help us to better await and be ready for the joy of Christmas Day. Find and seek out your path and community of love, joy, and support this Christmas season! 
 
Shannon Boley ’17